I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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