Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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