pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
