none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize