But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
