Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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