So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
