I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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