Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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