So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize