My brain says no but my pants say off.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
