if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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