yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
