I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
