...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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