is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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