How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
