I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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