i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
