bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
