I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
