she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can I color on your dick again?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
