Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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