But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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