white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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