3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
