i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
