dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
