I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
