I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
