I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
