Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
