If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
