butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
