they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
we're so committed to being not committed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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