you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
