She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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