Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
MIDGETS
????
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
