Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
