so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
