Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize