so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize