guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
