Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
