the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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