My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
