Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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