grandma shit on top of the toilet
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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