Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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