I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize