we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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