Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
