like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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