I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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