I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
