I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
