I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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