Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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