Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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