love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize