Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
