Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize