need another drink. this is the easiest way
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
