Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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