Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
