a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
