I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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